Simple and Beautiful Holiday Recipes
November 24, 2008 by Julia King · 11 Comments
4 people PLUS 5 hours EQUALS this cake.
NOTE TO SELF: The freezer does not act as a chilling microwave. For heaven’s sake, give the frosting the time it needs to THICKEN.
Grandmother Births Granddaughters after Eating Wild Mushrooms (or Receiving Fertility Treatments)
November 15, 2008 by Julia King · Leave a Comment
Imagine a world in which a woman gives birth to her own triplet granddaughters. I know. Run-of-the-mill already. Wake me up when a man gives birth to his triplet grandparents. That’s a real story.
Oh, the complexity.
What drives a family to such … I don’t know… exertion? What makes three presumably sane people grab nature and twist it into intractable knots?
15 years ago my body birthed one child and mysteriously halted production. I have a beautiful spitfire of a daughter who loves egg sandwiches and hiking in the woods and has an unnatural aversion to the sound of harmonicas. There was a time when I ached to have another just like her; but looking into her gold-specked eyes I know I’d have to be greedy to require more than one miracle.
All of us together in the child-production-and-rearing years, my sisters wanted me to “do” something, to take up arms in the War for Babies. Because in America we’re always supposed to be “doing” something about everything… weight loss, face-lift, lawn replacement, breast enlargement.
“Just do something little,” they said (so loaning me their uteruses never actually came up). But I didn’t know what “little” meant. There was a line somewhere that I knew I shouldn’t cross but it was so fuzzy it was almost impossible to see. And on the way to that line were a million stops, a million places to rationalize away convictions.
A strong proponent of population control, my social worker sister bent her rules regarding fertility medicine because she loves me. But I was unwilling to bend mine.
There are still moments in the dark-blue hours past midnight when I think far into my daughter’s future, the one where I no longer exist, and wonder if I should have tried harder, longer – not for me, but for her.
But in the light of day things are clearer: Life offers few guarantees, and there is even something to be gained (wisdom to name it) from deprivation or loss. I know, too, that even under the best circumstances fertility is fleeting; every woman must eventually bid it farewell. My time just came sooner than most.
California’s Proposition (Crazy) 8
November 8, 2008 by Julia King · 2 Comments
Just before the election, I was reading the New York Times on-line (like a good latte-drinking liberal, except that I mostly drink plain coffee) when I peeked into the weddings/celebrations section to ease my then-politically-anxious mind.
I saw that two lovely men were married beneath a “vine-cloaked pergola” in their “Tudor-style Beverly Hills home.” Later, they dined with guests in a fairy tale setting, complete with tea lights, fine china and intricate floral bouquets.
Now, I love Will and Grace. And that’s not just a line to prove I’m gay-tolerant; it’s relevant here because one of the grooms was the successful and wildly talented writer and creator of the show. As I said, I love the show. And I love homosexuals. I’d like to have a party and invite them all over. Once, as a matter of fact, my husband and I befriended a guy just because he was gay. Living in a small town, we were thrilled to be so cool. Surprisingly, however, when we finally had him over to our house, he brought his girlfriend. It turned out he was just unusual, but not actually gay – so the budding friendship took a big dive.
Anyway, my point here is that I’m basically comfortable with homosexuality and with gay marriage. And YET… for some reason, looking at two men with a prayer shawl draped over their shoulders and matching infant daughters in their arms makes my nose crinkle. Through my Midwestern heterosexual eyes, it looks a bit silly. Two handsome, fancy men and their little babies: Is THAT the way it’s supposed to work?
If it sounds like I’m gay-bashing, that’s certainly not my intention. It’s just that when I saw the stories about the passage of Proposition 8 in California, the images from the Hyman/Mutchnick wedding were still fresh in my mind. I thought about those 5-million (plus) people who voted to rob fellow citizens of serious rights, when really all that was called for was a little nose-crinkling.
Unlike the California voters, I understand that my visceral response to the love between two men (or two women) is not a call to action against that love. It’s a call for me to remember that some men love other men the way I love my husband – down to their very bones. If I am to have respect for my marriage, I must be willing to give respect to others’ marriages. It’s that simple. Proposition 8 had it exactly backwards.
Catch a Falling Leaf and…
November 7, 2008 by Julia King · Leave a Comment
Mrs. Davis taught us that song in 4th grade music class (but it was a falling star instead of a leaf). I thought of it yesterday as I stood in the street with my husband and our daughter catching (and missing) falling leaves. Even my teenage daughter couldn’t manage to roll her eyes when I cajoled her into the autumn day to play. If you’ve still got leaves falling in your neighborhood, get out there and catch some. Laughter guaranteed!
